Bridging the Cultural Gap

As an immigrant, growing up there have been many times that I haven't understood certain American traditions or sayings. (Still can never remember the difference in the use of borrow vs. lend. Or remember I'm standing in line not on line. And I call myself a writer ha!)

But for my parents, who were born and raised in Poland and spent their entire adult lives there, this can be even more difficult. This issue has come up for us several times during wedding planning. Though my fiancé and I are planning a wedding that is big on Polish culture and traditions, there are definitely some American customs that we've decided to incorporate into our big day. For example, in Poland the bride and groom normally walk into their ceremony together, whereas in America the tried-and-true tradition is the father walking the bride down the aisle. (I've opted for the American way of having my dad walk me down.)

Another area that has come under scrutiny during our wedding planning is all the pre-wedding activities that go on for the bride, i.e. bridal shower, bachelorette, etc. My mom is having a hard time understanding the whole concept of the shower. What is the point exactly? Why do you do it this way vs. that way? How should it even look like? etc, etc. And there's also the father-daughter dance, mother-son dance, flower girls and ring bearers, rehearsal dinner, registries and even the concept of a bridal party (you only have two witnesses in Poland) to add to the list of things that has been thrown their way to wrap their heads around. Just as we've learned a lot throughout this planning process so have our parents, and bless their hearts for being open and understanding to all this new information. My mom has even joked that she should write a book for other immigrant parents planning weddings in the U.S. I think it's a great idea!

Thank goodness we're having a 13-month engagement because it gives us plenty of time to prepare and learn all this stuff along the way :) Kudos to our parentals for being such good students of the American wedding traditions, it will be a breeze for the rest of our siblings!

Polish Wedding Traditions

I've mentioned some tips about the must-haves for a big, fat Polish wedding in this post and additional ones here, here and here. But it seems I am constantly learning about different Polish wedding traditions and their meanings.

Thanks to some Polish friends of ours I recently found out that the bread, salt and vodka ceremony (earlier I thought it was wine, apparently in Poland it is straight vodka) has an additional meaning  behind it. During this tradition, the bride and groom are presented with a loaf of bread and salt from their parents as well as shot glasses full of vodka. What I didn't know is that out of the intended two glasses for the bride and groom, one glass is filled with vodka and the other is filled with water. According to my sources, the person who picks up the vodka-filled glass and downs it with a straight face symbolizes that that person will be the strong one in the marriage. Interesting little tidbit. Have any of you heard this before? I love that there are so many traditions to a wedding and many meanings behind all of them. I for one, am terrified of picking the one full of vodka because I highly doubt I'll be able to keep it together and not make a face. I'm actually more terrified of me spitting out a mouthful of vodka onto two unhappy sets of parents and a stunned new husband. Haha can you imagine? Oh dear maybe I'll just pre-plan mine to be the water one and take the safe choice...

Imaga via thedailygreen.com

Big Fat Polish Wedding Number 2

So the first wedding was fantastic and the second one was equally great! The wedding also began with a traditional Roman Catholic church ceremony, followed by a rockin' reception.

the beautiful church

But before the newlyweds could leave the church, they were showered with coins! Traditionally, this was seen as a way for the couple to have a prosperous marriage.

Newlyweds picking up their dough ;)

This wedding also featured the "gate" that prevented the newlyweds from leaving the church area. This time though, it was a human chain! And those that assisted with the chain received a special treat, a bottle of what else...vodka!

The beginning of the reception was marked by the bride and groom's official entrance and immediately followed by the bread and salt ceremony. After a celebratory toast, the couple threw their glasses over their shoulders, shattering them in the process. (Not sure what this symbolizes exactly but I'm guessing for good luck?) Either way, the guests cheered and clapped the newlyweds as the reception officially got underway.

An element of the reception that was present at both weddings was a special dedication to the parents of the couple, thanking them for their support and guidance and featuring a special gift for them. Both sets of parents received an album that featured photographs of the newlyweds from the time they were babies right up to just before their wedding. It was a touching, visual display of their lives — perfect for a parent to reminisce over and look back on the fond memories.

At around midnight, it was time for the oczepiny. The bride sat on the dance floor, facing her guests and the maid of honor removed her veil, officially marking the bride's entrance into the married club! Then all the single ladies danced around the bride until she threw her veil and a lucky gal caught it. And then it's the grooms turn! In this case, he threw a tie over his shoulders as the single guys behind him scrambled to catch it!

 

 

 

 

The ladies waiting to catch the veil!

 

 

And now it's time for the guys!

Another fun part of Polish weddings is the money dance and this wedding was no different. The bride danced with guests who generously donated money to the newlywed couple for the privilege of dancing with the beautiful bride!

Of course there was plenty of food and drinks at this celebration as well! And a dance floor that was packed the whole night. Once again, a fantastic time was had by all and the night ended all too quickly. All in all, I was thrilled to attend these weddings and see what a true Polish wedding was like in the Motherland. Needless to say, my head is filled with amazing ideas and traditions that I will try to incorporate into our own celebration :)