Nixing Traditions And Making Your Own

A touching "first look" of a bride & groom

During wedding planning you often hear the phrase "because that's how it's done" or "every wedding has to have this." I questioned this line of thinking from the very beginning? Why do I HAVE to have a "surprise" bridal shower? Or have to do a bouquet toss and garter throw, or any other "tradition" associated with weddings. When did these so-called rules come into place and most importantly by who?? Ask an average person and they'll have no clue as to why showers have to be surprises or brides have to have "something blue" and any other tradition that wedding sites + magazines tell you are essential. Do what works best for your wedding. If a father-daughter dance or mother-son dance isn't your cup of tea? Skip it. If you'd rather see your groom before the ceremony rather than waiting till right before you get married, then do a first look. I chose to do some things differently and I'm a happier bride because of it. (I helped with my bridal shower planning and the world did.not.end. Imagine that?) Screw what people think. And yes some people will think you're being controlling or bossy so remember the saying "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." Though we are including many "traditions" into our wedding, we are doing so because we want to not because of the pressures of the wedding industry. So do things your way, everyone's got an opinion and you'll never please everyone. So why not make the most important people happy on your wedding day? You and your partner! :)


Photo via Simply Bloom Photography

The Wedding Dress Fitting

In less than three weeks I will have my first wedding dress fitting. After months and months of waiting, I will finally get to try my dress on again. As you may recall, the whole dress buying process was pretty tough for me. There is so much expectation with the bride's dress and this coupled with my incredible indecisiveness made for a difficult dress buying experience.

But alas, I made a deadline and I stuck to it. And with the help of my mom and sisters bought a dress. In crazy wedding world, if you buy your dress from a traditional wedding dress retailer you have to do so at least 6-8 months in advance. Yep, six to eight months or else you'll be stuck paying a rush shipping fee that can run you another couple hundred bucks.

So I bought my dress in October and will finally see it in April. In those six months in between, I've been going back and forth between nightmares of my dress not fitting, having second thoughts about buying it and excitement about finally getting to try it on. Whoever thought of the rule that there has to be SO MUCH TIME in between purchase and actual pick up of the dress is obviously evil. Don't people know girls will try themselves insane?? As Kanye would say "that shit cray." It's times like these that I wish I were a guy. Just gotta get sized for a tux and they're done.


Image via women24.com

Feeling Wedding Planning/Engagement Nostalgia

I can't believe I'm actually saying those words, but I think I'm going to miss wedding planning. Well, maybe not so much wedding planning but rather this really unique time in my life when I get to be engaged and have someone call me their fiancée and when I get to prepare to vow to spend the rest of my life with someone.

It's no surprise that these feelings have surfaced after my fiancé and I attended a marriage preparation weekend retreat. I'll definitely be posting on that in the future (highly recommend this for ALL couples, regardless of how long you've been together you'd be surprised the topics that you haven't discussed or not in enough depth.) But when it comes to wedding planning, I've been focusing on all the negatives that go along with it while forgetting that this is a time in my life I'll never get back, and I may look back on it wishing I'd taken the time to soak it in and appreciate everything.

So my promise to myself from this day forward is to enjoy this time and remember that everything we do is a memory in the making. One of the reasons I blogged about this experience in the first place was to have an account of everything and remember how I felt throughout this whole process. So here's to being a Ms. for a few more months and enjoying saying fiancé the fancy way ;)


Photo courtesy of Delbarr Moradi from our recent engagement session :)

Low-Cost Save the Dates

Ahh Save the Dates. The lovely little reminders you send to your guests to let them know you're planning a big bash in a few months. I learned what save the dates are, along with many other wedding-related terms when I first got engaged. I learned even more about them when researching options. Who knew that these things can cost ya a pretty penny? After finding out the average costs, I was appalled. Who would want to spend that much money on something most people will probably throw away? Well, definitely not us! Once we settled on a Bay Area wedding I decided postcards were the way to go! I found some vintage-y looking ones highlighting various San Francisco landmarks and I thought it was a pretty novel idea. Apparently I was wrong. See below:

 

 

 

Turns out postcard save the dates where all the rage. Regardless I went ahead with my idea since it was a) cheaper and b) a little more fun and c) tied into our wedding since for many guests it will be a destination wedding hence travel and postcards :)
So it may not have been super original but for 9 bucks for a pack of 20 it was the most cost-effective option I could think of. Plus postage for postcards at just 29 cents a pop also saved us a couple bucks. Now, as much as I like the personalized options with photos of the couple it just wasn't for us. I felt a bit weird thinking of our faces on peoples fridges. We did personalize by ordering a custom stamp from Etsy from this awesome seller. Check out how it turned out below (in the late hours stamping away). 

The only downside to my idea was that since it was a postcard some guests missed it in their mail. Regardless, I'd still highly recommend this low-cost yet equally fun save the date idea!
Images in order of appearance via me, Ruffled, Wedding Chicks, The Vegas Wedding Planner

Wise Words

"Remember what your wedding is: a celebration. It's a reason to rejoice. And it's as simple and as complicated as that."  — Meg Keene

I just started reading Meg's new book "A Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration" and am already in love with it. Just the thing I need to get me through these last few months of wedding planning! 


Image via Kiss the Groom

Lies, Lies I Tell You!

Ask anybody planning a wedding and most will probably tell you that weddings cost way more than they ever imagined! I sure think so! One of the biggest problems that perpetuate this scenario is the pretty la-la land created by the wedding industry that turns even the most level-headed bride into a pile of mush. 

For this I blame the blogs and magazines that continue to bombard us with images that are really only false advertising! I mean is it that hard to include the couples wedding budget when listing the venue, vendors, etc.? Simply tell us the truth!

I love it when I come across a blog or article that features a wedding and includes the wedding budget (such as this one). It brings authenticity to the event and makes those viewing it better understand the process. Not that there is anything wrong with spending $80K, $100K or whatever amount you feel comfortable with on a wedding. By all means, spend whatever you please! Just kindly let us know you did, so that the rest of us who have less (or more) to spend can have a realistic budget barometer.